Made of Monday: Rules

About a week ago, I overheard my mom on the phone saying, “No, Danielle’s not like that, everything for her is black and white. There isn’t much gray. She has always been like that.”It is pretty true.  I am a rule follower. I can’t help it. I like structure, I like order and I like to know what to expect. New things scare me. I like to know exactly what is going to happen.

We were at the neighborhood pool yesterday when a younger couple walked up, the guy looked around and then hopped up at the gate to reach over and hit the exit button. He didn’t have a pass. It made me bananas!!!! I could not relax and enjoy my time with my family because he had broken the rule – more than that he was stealing from me, from my family. This is a little crazy, right? But is how it felt. He was holding himself to be above the rules that the rest of us where following. He was telling us that we should pay his way, or that he was unwilling to even try to pay his own way.

Oh, I believe in sharing, and being sympathetic and empathetic, but I also believe that rules are helpful and good. Yes, the government has gotten a little carried away with this, but in general rules are good. They help us know which side of the road to drive on. They help us know what is ours and what belongs to someone else.  They help us get through the day. And I like rules.

The good rules in life usually boil down to one of say ten or so basic rules (wink, wink). And even those boil down into what I think are three simpler rules – honor God, honor yourself and honor your fellow man.
 
When someone breaks a rule their actions say to me that they don’t care about anything or anyone. It is selfish. It shows weakness and selfishness. When I meet rebellious types, the kind who break rules just to break rules, I wonder if they expect others to follow the rules. The young guy at the pool, for example, what if I just came to his house and let myself in to let the kids run wild. I don’t think he would like us just barging in.  So, I guess the freedom to break the rules is only reserved to him?

In The Well-Trained Mind, one of the authors talks about how a child – given a strong vocabulary, social skills and practice in speaking and writing – will never have to resort to getting her tongue pierced to make a statement about who she is. Rule breaking to me is comparable to tongue piercing in this case. Breaking rules to get a rise out of others is hardly a good sport or good use of energy or resources – and it has long term consequences.

Sometimes, there are bad rules, but there are good rules that give us a system to fix them. I can admire those who disagree with rules and then take civil, thoughtful steps to redress those issues.

Except for speed limits...55 is just a suggestion, right?