I have been in a really lousy mood this week, like really lousy.

Like bring other folks down with me, lousy!

I know it is not the weather, but the weather certainly has helped anchor this mood in my heart.

Truly, what happened is that frustration turned to anger and self-pity…turned to procrastination and defiance, which made me emotionally vulnerable and tired…Way to mess myself up!

So here I sit writing to you about it – two days behind on chores, two days behind on homework, months behind on projects and days behind on ETSY and other related chores! I feel this huge pressure to get it all done, to get caught up THIS INSTANT! 

THIS INSTANT! ALL OF IT NEEDS TO BE DONE, NOW!

Does it really? No…but it feels like it. I feel like I am losing every bit of the success I have had in the past month in just 3 or 4 days.

How can I be in a bad mood with this cutey around?

And that feels bad, real bad.

I am not sure which feels worse – not having the things done or feeling badly about it. As I sat upstairs rocking Jackson for the two seconds he will snuggle before nap, the song that came to mind was Alabama’s  I’m in a Hurry and Don’t know Why.

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

Don't know why I have to drive so fast
My car has nothing to prove
It's not new
But it'll do zero to sixty in five point two

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

Can't be late, I leave in plenty of time
Shakin' hands with the clock
I can't stop
I'm on a roll and I'm ready to rock

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

Oh, I hear a voice
That says I'm running behind
Better pick up my pace
It's a race and there ain't no room for someone in second place

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

All he wants to do is ride the horse all day!
Maybe this is God's way of telling me to "hold my horses"?

That voice is my voice. No one else is saying I am behind. I am in a hurry, and I don’t know why. I mean, I know, but it is silly, and it is making me miserable. And it is no one but me doing this to myself!

Honestly, Thursday’s chores are quick and Friday is usually chore free, so there is time to make things up there.  The rain will pass and I will get pictures taken for all my new etsy listings.

But Grace won’t be 4 years 5 months 16 days old ever again and Jackson won’t be 1 year 1 month and 28 days old ever, ever again…And my husband won’t ever been in week 3 of his third year of law school ever again, and this time next year we may not live in this house or this town..There are so many things I should be savoring.

So this Wednesday, I am going to slow down, both literally and figuratively. I am going to get some things done, but I am going to do the best I can to let all the rest roll off my back…

Are you going to slow down? What hurries you? Who is that voice for you – yourself or someone or something else?